What conditions have you placed on yourself that may be holding you back from feeling your best?
Read more to find out!
You might have heard the relationship advice that goes something like “before you get into a relationship, you must love yourself first (don’t worry I’m not going to dive into your love life here, just using it as an example.😉)
Some people get into a relationship because they think it will make them happy or more worthy.
Placing all these conditions on a relationship isn’t going to make it any better. It can lead to stress, missed expectations, and just an overall feeling of disconnection.
“When I get a relationship, then I’ll be happy, loved and worthy.”
“Oh, when I get rich, then I’ll be happy.”
Here’s the thing, we can’t magically find anything by searching outside of ourselves. If we don’t understand that what we are looking for is already inside of us- we are running in circles, depleting our energy and our true essence.
Now, tapping into your inner love, happiness, and joy is not a walk in the park or an overnight thing. Depending on where you are starting from it does take persistence and the belief that it is possible. But, by doing the “inner work” it’s definitely possible for all of us.
It’s possible for you because if it’s possible for one person to unconditionally love themself regardless of any “flaws”, it’s possible for you!
The relationship you have with exercise and with your body is no different than the relationship you have with another person.
That’s what the diet programs don’t want you to know. They are banking on women (and men) to keep coming back and following their commands. You end up coming back (or diet hopping) because you get stuck on a cycle of restrict then binge. In that cycle you’re coming from a place of lack and fear and it’s not empowering at all.
These can look like the programs that have you weigh yourself every single day.
Your weight on the scale is a condition, and having a program surrounding that condition places immense value on that “ideal” number.
I’ve seen a lot of women lose their sense of worth because they attach it to that number. If that number is not perfect, then think they are flawed. They feel disappointed, ashamed, upset, or frustrated.
Holding so much value of who you are as a person to a number on a scale is detrimental to your well being.
Here’s one BIG reason why:
You are a human (right?) and from the moment you are a child you are subconsciously scanning your environment and feeling everything to make sure that you survive. Your subconscious mind never shuts off. We are all striving for worthiness and we want to be worthy of love and belongingness (you just may not be conscious of these drives).
As part of the animal kingdom, humans are tribal so belongingness, love, safety, security, connection is SO IMPORTANT for our survival (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs).
If we don’t have our basic needs met, as if we don’t feel safe or we are outcast, that is a huge red flag to the human nervous system. No bueno.
That is no way to live your life!
Losing your sense of worthiness as a person over conditions that you have unknowingly been placing on yourself (picked up through the years and from what you are exposed to in society and form a belief about) is not going to help you “live your best life.”
Here’s what will:
Start with the reverse:
Practice self love infused with self care practices.
This can be totally based on what you like to do: a face mask, a nature walk, yoga, etc. The important thing is that it’s coming from a place of love.
You’re not doing it because you think you “should” be doing it in order to get somewhere- you are doing it because it allows you to connect with who you truly are.
It will begin to be something you look forward to doing- NOT a chore.
So go out there and practice self love infused with your self care!
What will you do first? Let me know in the comments! If you are really feeling brave, send me an email sharing your favorite ways you practice self love.