I see a lot of articles sharing all sorts of tips to boost your confidence. I also see an equal amount of cosmetic surgery practice advertisements that lead with the appeal that enhancing or “shaping” your appearance will increase your confidence.
The point is, there seems to always be someone selling a different pill or potion that will promise to increase confidence and happiness… we’re exposed to it all around us!
Really, it’s a great marketing tactic because we all want to feel confident, right?
While these methods can definitely help and are completely dependent on the situation and the individual, what I want to clarify is that external/physical changes DO NOT represent internal state.
Let’s touch on a couple points that will help you 10x your confidence today: ‘
1. Your inner thoughts, beliefs, values, and identity are going to override any external/physical circumstances in your surrounding environment.
Example: If you lose 20 lbs (external/physical circumstance), but still hold onto the belief that you are overweight and have an identity of an overweight person (internal representation)- maybe thinking over and over again-“I am big, I am fat, I am overweight”, etc…Those 20 lbs may find their way back onto your body, even despite your hard efforts of willing yourself out of the kitchen at midnight. Why? How?
It comes down to alignment. Your conscious mind (think of it as the ‘doer’) has a job to do to keep in alignment with your subconscious mind (‘the hard drive’). Just like a computer, whatever is stored on your hard drive is going to play out in reality.
2. You can have it NOW….yes, I mean it!
Don’t worry, this isn’t some instant gratification gimmick…I am being serious. It’s all about using your mind and physiology to bring back the feeling of confidence that you have experienced before.
- Go back to a time when you felt the most confident. Once you have a time that you felt a strong sense of confidence, proceed.
- Keeping this moment in your mind’s eye, I want you to imagine that you are sitting in a movie theater, watching this moment on the big screen (so you see yourself in the memory…NOT looking through your own eyes, but looking at yourself play it out).
- Going back to the time now, bring in all 5 senses and notice what sounds you heard, what smells you smelt, do you taste anything, how do you feel, who is around you, and anything else that really helps paint the picture of this moment of confidence for you. The more detail the better. Really feel all those feelings of confidence that you felt.
- Do you feel that sense of confidence already rushing back into your body now? Your body remembers how that feels and your subconscious mind can not differentiate between what is happening right now and a very detailed imagined scene. Your subconscious mind is so powerful that you can do this anywhere, like right before a meeting or a sales call and feel as confident as ever!
The last thing that is super important to mention is physiology:
Think of super women- strong, confident, powerful, fierce. How does she stand? POWER STANCE. YEP!
From now on, think of superwomen anytime you need a quick boost of confidence. Anytime you match the body positioning of a confident person, like shoulders back and down, chest up, head up, Arms free or on hips, etc. you will feel an instantaneous rush of confidence.
Want to go one more step? Of course ya do!
Match the breathing rate of a confident person. Think about it, if a person who is scared has shallow, rapid breaths, a confident person has deep, smooth, relaxed breaths. Breath confident= feel confident.
Using both the mental + postural methods here can really help you improve your confidence 10x!
BONUS- September Journaling
Start Here For a Powerful Month:
Questions to journal on to find direction and live with intention starting NOW:
- Get clear: How do I want to feel this month? (Write it DOWN)
- Get clearer & focus on identity: What type of person has, does, feels how I desire to? What resources do they have? (ex: Focus, Kindness, Networking Skills, Open mind, Access to a coach, etc. )
- Take inventory and create an action plan: What resources (internal and external) do I have? What resources can I build up (some things will take practice and repetition! Ex: Becoming a great speller)
- Everyday: Embody the type of person you said has, does, feels how you desire. Draw from your resource bank to aid you and guide you. Keep your focus on what you want & continuously be grateful and learn for what you have right now. Fine tune your resource bank and take the imperfect action (done is better than perfect).
- Ps: What you have right now in this moment is a direct reflection of all your past thoughts, stories and beliefs coming to reality (consciously or unconsciously you were calling it in). Now, it’s time to create your life from design, versus chance. You got this.
Did you like this post? Try out the methods and let me know how they work for you!
If you dig my journaling bonus you may like what you see when you grab a copy of the Free Made For You Morning Routine guide that is available here 🙂
With love and confidence in you,